Went 2 months ignoring the pain, and symptoms, such as inability to swallow food, keep it down. Breathing has become difficult, even with medication, almost like muscles are failing. The knees buckling at random moments, and walking has become so painful that it’s almost to much to try and get to my feet. My shoulder and shoulder blade pains so severe I was rendered unconscious.
I finally went to the hospital. Exactly the reasons why I don’t like hospitals. Here stands my proof. “Nothing ever good comes from going to an ER”
I was diagnosed with degenerative bone-loss disease aka Osteoarthritis and Miotonic Muscular Dystrophy. I am not upset, I am not sad. I am outside the motions of denial and acceptance. It is what it is, and this is my plight I must endure.
In the course of 11 weeks I went from being active, mobile, and zany, to being
placated on the couch, and barely able to make it to the bathroom on time. I started a company, which I fear I may have to sell or shut it down because I can no longer stand the pain that comes with doing my job.
My hatred for life has only been compounded on top of the other shit.
There is no anger, there is only a wish.
“Make it fast, and painless as possible!”